36. QUAKE DOCTOR: What is the problem?
PATIENT: I snore so loud that I woke myself up. What can I do?
QUAKE DOCTOR: Sleep in another room.
37. A man woke up in a hospital after serious accident and shouted "Doctor, I can't feel my legs"
DOCTOR: I know you can't because your arms have been amputated.
38. BOSS: I am giving you a driver's job and the starting salary is 500 USD
JOB SEEKER: You are great sir because the starting salary is ok but how much is the driving salary?
39. TEACHER: You never get anything right. What kind of job do you think you'll get when you leave school?
STUDENT: Well, I want to be the weather girl on TV,
40. JACK'S FRIEND: Jack, are you not coming out to play?
JACK: No because I have to help my father with my home work.
41. QUESTION: What is the difference between a girl and a cigarette pack.
ANSWER: Both of them can make you sick but at least the cigarette pack comes with a warning.
42. JACK: My father shaves about 40 times daily.
JACK'S FRIEND: Why, is he crazy?
JACK: No, he is a barber.
43. QUESTION: What is the difference between a mother and a wife?
ANSWER: A mother brings you into the world crying while a wife ensures you continue to do so one way or the other.
44. TEACHER: Name two kings who showed the world a new way of living.
STUDENT: Smoking AND drinking.
45. A wedding day is the day a guy stands on stage, watches other beautiful girls and asks himself...Where the hell were these beautiful girls till now?
46. POLICE MAN: Stop! Stop! Your headlights are not working.
DRIVER: Move, Move! because even the brake is not working.
47. TEACHER: When was Rome built?
STUDENT: At night.
TEACHER: Why did you say at night?
STUDENT: Because my father always says that Rome was not built in a day.
48. TEACHER: Which is the oldest animal in the world?
TEACHER: Why did you mention zebra?
STUDENT: Because it is still black and white.
49. HUSBAND SMS TO WIFE AT HOME: Hello darling, I'll be there in about 30 minutes time. If not, kindly read this message again.
50. HUSBAND TO WIFE: Sweetheart, would you say that I'm the only man you have ever loved?
WIFE: Of course you are. Why do all men ask me the same silly question.
50b. QUESTION: What is the full meaning of MATHS.
ANSWER Mentally affected teachers harassing students.